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Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?
Collective wisdom on creating a family from conception to birth and beyond
Author: Rebecca Griffin
Publisher: ACER 2010

For more information about Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me? visit the ACER Online Shop.

Reviewed by Shona Kitchener, doula, student NCT postnatal facilitator.
Published in Essentially MIDIRS, February 2012, Volume 3, Number 2

Author Rebecca Griffin has provided a wonderful and unique introductory text to the world of the new parent. Suitable for both parents and professionals it offers the reader a basic outline of the topic being discussed, a brief look at the issues that this raises, and then perhaps most useful of all, a collection of relevant experiences as described by a parent.

Taking Naomi Stadlen’s (2004) key text What mothers do to the next level, this book covers all aspects of parenthood from conception and pregnancy through to birth and postnatal life. It helpfully provides this in the same format for each chapter making the book easy to follow and navigate. The focus is on the experience rather than the detail of the subject being discussed, however, should the reader wish to develop their knowledge further, over a third of the book is later dedicated to resources, references and further reading. This is also displayed in a uniform format providing contact information for Australia, New Zealand, Canada, United States, Ireland and the UK.

One of the most refreshing aspects of reading Griffin’s text is that it is modern and unbiased. Unlike many books which may only have a token chapter dedicated to the experience of the father and of same sex parents, this book not only refers to the range of experiences of all parents throughout each topic, but also has regular direct accounts provided by fathers and same sex parents.

Rebecca Griffin has clearly worked hard to provide a simple, comprehensive book, which approaches the subject of parenthood from the emotional and experiential perspective. Perhaps it is because of this that occasionally it can feel that there are slightly more negative stories than positive ones, particularly when looking at pregnancy and birth. Overall though, the author’s presence is not felt too often in the writing as it is made clear from the outset that the book is not aimed at providing solutions to parenting problems or opinions on birth choices. Because of this and the brief but helpful chapter about interpreting research it could also be a beneficial addition to the bookshelf of new families as they navigate their way through the early days.

With a background in mental health provision Griffin clearly wishes there to be more support for the psychological well-being of parents and even offers a simple guide on how to start your own support group as the book comes to a close. Her aim is fulfilled by reading the stories of mothers, fathers and their families as it brings a true sense of person to each subject. By reading this text it should help those working with parents to really walk in their shoes and gain an insight into the different ways each individual can interpret and feel in a situation.

Overall this book is excellent value for money and a perfect starting point for anyone beginning a career working with families, mothers and women in general.

Reference
Stadlen N (2004). What mothers do: especially when it looks like nothing. London: Piatkus.

For more information about Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me? visit the ACER Online Shop.